Feeling Helpless

The Israeli militants are at it again. They are attacking the defenseless Palestinians on the Gaza Strip as an act of 'self defence'. Self defence my ass. I feel so helpless. Those pictures of children killed by the Jews. I can only make du'a for them. May Allah protect the Palestinians, give them extraordinary valor to face this great test. May Allah instill unspeakable fears in the hearts of the militants who are attacking them, incapacitating them and eventually stopping them from launching more attacks. Amin.

Happy 5th Anniversary

We're celebrating our 5th anniversary today. Five years! May happiness be ours until Jannah. In shaa allah.

Night and Day

I miss the camaraderie of old. I miss most of the people in this photo. May Allah bless them.

I am yet to feel at home here.

Read-o-meter

Reading is such a joy. When I was growing up in the squatters of Pantai Dalam, I would frequent my grandparents' (from both sides) houses to read the never ending supply of URTV and the likes, thanks to my aunts. When I was in school, the library was my favourite place, apart from the canteen. As cliche as it may sound, reading took me to places I never imagined existed. I think that's the reason I became an educator because if I wasn't one I might abandon this love for the written words. Now I'm revisiting the authors who have long fascinated me, Agatha Christie and Patricia Cornwell. At the same time I'm trying to re-finish Napolean Hill's Unlimited Success. Reading 3 books at one time is normal for an 'ulat buku' like me. I have just finished The Murder of Roger Ackroyd.

Groovy Moony

I ate 5 pieces of pisang goreng today although I know it's going to burst the calories that I'm allowed to take, but I'm not going to reprove myself because of that. So what did I do? I burnt a little bit of that dancing to Drama King, What A Feeling, Summer of 69 and Dangdut is the Music of My Country.It took me only 15 minutes to do it and I felt good. Of course I need at least one and a half hour to burn all the calories, still better than nothing. According to SparkPeople, a 150lb woman who dances 10-15 minutes can burn an average of 100 calories, more if she is heavier. So there. I burnt more than 100 calories doing the crazy dance. May Allah give me the strength and determination to win this battle, Amin.

All Fired Up

I'm using Myfitnesspal to count my caloric intake and so far I've been logging in almost religiously. To seek some motivations and inspirations I frequent the Success Stories column almost every day. I'm doing this alone so these success stories are important to keep me going. They tell me that it is possible. Here's an example. This is kayleighhand26 and her story. I started this journey on 4th Jan 2012 as a new years resolution and if I am being totally honest I was not sure I would stick to it... Fast forward 10 months and I have logged in for 310 days in a row and lost 63lb I still have another 7.5lb to go maybe a little more but I wanted to post a story with the hope it will inspire The mains things I have learned are: *This is not a diet it is a lifestyle change, sometimes you will have an off day but thats ok and make sure you allow yourself treats so you dont feel deprived and end up having a massive binge!* *It is not a quick fix and it will take time and dedication but the results are definately worth it!* *You do not need to eat really realy low levels of calories to lose weight, I realised pretty quickly that I could not sustain a 1200 limit and I increased this slowly over time and my body adjusted and my metabolism increased, I now eat anywhere between 1800-2000 calories I am still losing* *Listen to the advice and feedback that others have to give and make sure you give it back - the support network I have on here has been amazing* When I first started my goal seemed so far away but now it is so close and I am proud of what I have achieved DO NOT GIVE UP, YOU CAN DO IT!!

Weigh in

As promised, today is weigh in day. Alhamdulillah I have lost around 5kg. I have started to wear my baju kurung again. I have a long way to go still and I intend to go all the way until I reach my goal weight around 68kg. May Allah give me the strength, determination and will power to lose the weight. Amin. Next weigh in will be on Dec 9.

Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Calorie Counter

Forgiven

Aidiladha had come and passed. I tried to eat within the allowed calories per day but festivities are when I almost always fail to refrain. But I've forgiven myself for failing to do so. This time around, I promise not to sabotage myself anymore. You fall off, you try to get back on it as quickly as you can. Since Monday, I've limited my caloric intake to 1700 a day, down from 1870 before. I've designed my own exercise, cardio + some toning exercises. It's not really original because most of the movements I learnt from online exercise videos but I'm happy to call it my own. I have problems with my knees so most of the exercises (even the low impact ones) are not really good for me, so I do what I can. I sweat the same. Now, I make it a point to use the stairs instead of the lift and when I feel my buttocks are hurting from too much sitting, I will head for the stairs to get a good few rounds. I still hate going up and down the stairs but I know it's good for me. May Allah give me the strength and determination to lose this weight. Amin.

Hurting

My boy fell while waiting for me to finish a meeting. We had to rush him to the clinic as he was bleeding. The gash was quite deep that required two stitches. But he was a trooper. He was quiet during the stitching although he winced once or twice. I saw tears dropping on the side of his face. He was trying to be strong. That got to me. My little boy, the love of my life was trying to be brave for his Mama because if he cried I would have cried louder. He was his usual, chirpy self after the treatment. But every time I look at that healing wound, my heart aches. Ya Allah, Ya Rahman, Ya Rahim, Please protect my son from any harm. Please grant him health and happiness. Amin.

Weekend is Over...

We traveled back to Alam Suria (where my brother's family is) on the weekend. I was mentally prepared and had resigned to the fact that my diet would go crazy. It's so much easier to handle when you expected the worst. I did go off course but I got on course pretty fast too. We managed to visit my parents and stayed for a few hours there (that's all we could afford to spend since my other half had meetings scheduled), it was not enough but it was well-spent. My SIL recommended natural collagen based on her friend's experience. I've heard of it before and I was very curious. It is purported to make us look young and those who have joint problems are highly recommended to take it. I might try it. I didn't get to do the scheduled exercises over the weekend but we did a fair amount of walking, so I guess that should suffice. I'm taking the easy approach on the exercise this time around because I don't want to put too much pressure on my body. I will start some light cardio plus toning exercise tomorrow night. Insya Allah. May Allah give me the strength and determination to win this battle. Amin.